The Battle of The Teams

A friend of mine and I were recently discussing the girls we've dated. She and I both are lesbians. I, however, am newly out and she is an old veteran by comparison.

My comming out was long over-due when it finally came...and apart from the disappointment, most of my family already had suspected or pin-pointed me as being a lesbian already anyway. Their reasoning was that I was never a "very girlie girl". But what kept them seemingly in the dark about it all was that I wasn't butch either.

My friend said that I must just be "a player for The Lavendar Team". You see, in the "Lesbian World", there are two main teams...The Pink Team and The Blue Team. Do I really need to explain the differences??? Okay, very well...

Members of The Pink Team are what people would refer to as being "lipstick lesbians". They are the girls you would never in your wildest (well, maybe your wildest) fantasy imagine as being gay. They wear lipstick (thus, the title), carry purses, march around in Monolo's, wear fancy designer clothing from big department stores like Saks and Nordstroms...and get lots of attention from the male population, but come to bare the label of "bitches". There are a couple of reasons for this, but mainly: They don't put out. They are the beautiful, seductive and more feminine type (which means they are complicated and emotional).

Then there are the members of The Blue Team. These are your neighborhood manly women...You know them as "Dykes"...The kind that wear the pants (literally because they wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt or a dress), the baseball cap crew, the polo shirt crowd, the big ole t-shirt wearing, honky-tonk (or more classy tie and suit) mob. They usually sport short boyish hair-dos. They carry themselves in wider stances, broader steps and sit in unlady-like manners. They only drink long-neck bottle beers directly from the bottle, order their whiskey straight or on-the-rocks, and never ever wear their hair down long unless it's underneath a cap or hat. They are into sports, cars, and exploit women they find attractive. They either workout insessently and have manly muscles, or don't work out at all and load on the weight in their wastes to cover having big jugs...obviously this doesn't cover all their aspects, but works out steriotypically.

But as for me, my friends, I am neither a member of The Pink Team nor of The Blue Team. I like to think that I lean more towards The Pink Team, but the reality is that I have never quite fit in on either team. I love fashion, I love makeup, I am complicated, emotional, (been told I am) beautiful, get lots of attention from males (have the label of bitch), and sport a nice dress or skirt often enough that I don't feel nor look awkward in them. HOWEVER...I drink my beers from long-neck bottles, order hard shots from time to time, wear baseball caps and polo shirts, cut my hair short (but not boyish) in the summer time, wear pants, wear big unfashionable t-shirts, go without makeup to school often, sit unlady-like at times (only when I'm not wearing skirts or dresses, though), I am sporty, love cars, workout often (or did and started doing so again recently), have had biceps at some points in time that shamed some men, and I have been known to exploit women that I find attractive every now and then.

Some people would say that I am "confussed" about my "orientation" and this is why I don't fit into any particular team...if you don't fit into a team, you are "undecided" and obviously confussed.--Let me get this straight (I used the word "straight" here so I am obviously "confussed" again)...according to the straight people's bible of gayness, I am "confussed" because I haven't picked a team to play for? I didn't realize I MUST pick one, or I would have chosen one.--As if I have been ever so disorriented and unsure about what and who I am.

That, dear people, has not been the case. I did think for quite some time that I acted in ways I wasn't, and did things I didn't like; and a large part of that was that I buckled to peer pressures. I believe this is just a natural part of growing up and maturing. However, I was always independent and chose to act the ways I did...whether influenced into them or not. I have been my own person all along, and am no different now...even if I don't "fit in" a particular team.

But having spoken to my friend, I have no problem being decided on The Lavendar Team. This is a team for all the lesbians out there whos families are in denial about them being certain they are gay due to their complexity. This is a team for those of us who like to leave lipgloss/lipstick marks on our long-neck beer bottles, or who do our hair nice and sexy and let it all down on our polo shirt, or who work on our cars but keep our nails manacured, or who workout and lift more than men but have sexy womenly figures, or who are as dirty-minded and perverted as the next guy, or who wear Monolos with our jeans, or who like to read the Sports section of the paper in the same day we read Fashion Magazine looking for the latest fashion trends. This is the team for us ladies that go against the grain, and who don't settle for the "status quo". Us ladies that invent our own agendas, and who are too complex to read our next moves. This is for us ladies that don't mind being on either "top" or "bottom"; depending on what we want each time. This team is for us women who always seem to get asked to be involved counselors for our straight men and women friends in relationships because we understand both sides.

So here we are...another mold has been created.