Atomic Blast

I learned SO many things during my time in Iraq. Still, more correlations between what I learned there and how it applies to my life now keep coming to me.
The move(s) today were long and draining. I was playing phone tag most of the day with my best friend Laura, her mom in Tennessee, my ex Matt, my friend Joel down the street, and my friend Jamie in College Station. Joel volunteered to help me all day, but the initial plan and strategically timed agenda got thrown off by a simple mistake made on my part...I packed up my paper with all the information I had written on it about the storage facility, Laura's parents' code to get into it, and all that good jazz...oh, and my phone was chewed up by my dog...to add to the issue.
One SIMPLE mistake...MANY complications that followed.
Complication
#1 Can't get ahold of Laura because she's out in the wilderness on a camping trip
#2 Can't get ahold of her mom because they are at church
#3 Joel is ready to go, and sits out waiting for me because I'm rummaging through my garbage searching for that rolodex I had just thrown out yesterday (before my dog chewed my phone)
#4 Can't get ahold of her boyfriend because I don't have his number
#5 Keep getting calls from unknown numbers (all numbers are unknown to me at this point because phone has nothing stored in it)
#6 Find old SIM card and put it in another phone to get the stored old numbers (yes...Complication because old numbers are...well...OLD)
#7 Get ahold of Laura's boyfriend, get ahold of Laura (who's with her boyfriend)...Complication because I must now start more phone tag before getting the information I needed
#8 Get call from Laura's mom, get information...Need to get van at Enterprise
#9 Enterprise doesn't recognize me as 25...that would be because I'm 24. Yes, pay larger fee to be young.
#10 Get van, get crap out of storage place, head out to College Station...already cost me 2 meals at this point (deal was to feed Joel for his help all day)
#11 Dude...how much does a man eat!?
#12 Gas prices on the rise and I'm driving a tank
#13 "Man and remote control" syndrome...I have me a "radio nazi" for the ride...YAY!
#14 The wheels on the van go round and round...
#15 Who in the hell brainstormed the brilliant idea to BOX UP a mattress and box-spring set??
#16 Arrive and get a 3rd meal for Joel
#17 Make the exchange of goods (sexy hair-do gone with the first bead of sweat that falls down my head...also gone...my wonderful fruity fragrance)
#18 Head out...finally Jamie calls and we catch one another on my way out of Bryan, TX
#19 Joel farted around with my ipod and now it's stuck on Dave Matthews...not a bad thing to get stuck on, by the way...Nonetheless...Still a problem
#20 feed Joel again
#21 begin returning all missed calls from the time we arrived til time we left (totally 12 calls) meanwhile...more sweat beads rolling down forehead as I was hoping not to be calling back obsessive, clingy dates from last week's cyber escapades
which leads me to
#22...
Ever been ambushed? I'm talking attack out of NOWHERE! While returning all my missed calls...they began...one after another...
I think I fed him too much.
The smells were mortifying!!!
Oh my dear Lord, what in your planet died and crawled up his rear end??
I rolled the windows down and there's nothing like enjoying a big woof of skunk versus the smell of smashed ass...
One after another, they still came. Window roll-down number 3 and I was ready to hurl, but no mercy was spared upon me.
Finally, after window roll-down number 17, we rolled into Dallas City Limits. Oh...the moment I rolled past that line right after returning from Iraq was nothing compared to this time! Knowing that I was only 20 minutes from my destination, versus 3 1/2 hours exhilerated me.
This all, somehow seemed to make sense to me in some weird political way...
Essentially, I wanted something from Joel...so I fed him all day expecting to collect on it at the end. Meanwhile, Joel wasn't too pleased with all my timing of everything and how I took control of the remote and was the driving force of the vehicle. So he began to try to give me shit...literally and figuratively. And so his attacks on me began...Mercilessly. Though all my smell sensors had been killed from the atomic blasts, I ultimately won the battle...I got what I wanted out of the deal with Joel...he loaded and unloaded my van and provided me with company for the day through all my endevours. I had fulfilled my end of the bargain and so had he.
Yet at the end of the day...Joel got gas. And so did I...at 2 cents cheaper per gallon than I had gotten in the morning.
How does this all tie back to my experience in Iraq?
You do the math.