HAZ MAT

No matter how blithely aware I may be that my arrival to any budding romance will be accompanied by a full set emotional Louis Vuitton of my own, any trace of it in someone else I meet with immediate misgiving. I think I have learned this about myself and have in this last week decided to ease up a little.
So....I was at Sue Ellen's last night (surprise surprise!) with a friend I met over a month ago named Angeline. She's a cute tiny little Malasian chick and so incredibly sharp! I think I FINALLY am getting to know someone in-person and on a *friendship* level that is on my same page. We went to this pub called Idle Rich for starters and got bored with the straight crowd. So, we decided to go to the gayborhood and kareoki/dance/check girls out. I have big ole feet for my tiny frame and Angeline wore sandals...of the thongy type. I tried spinning her around and 2-stepping at RoundUp. Of course, she's like a foot and a half shorter than me....Well...all I have to say about that is she was quickly out-of-order for dancing and that led us to Sue Ellen's for the chick-scoping.
We arrive and there's hardly a soul there. But we were in high-spirits and we decided to stick it out. Sure enough...a nice little crowd showed about 45 minutes later! I'd say we were about ready to call it quits for the night when this TALL guy approached me and asked me if I thought this girl behind him was cute. I had caught her taking a look at me in the corner of my eye earlier, and I thought she was OK-looking (mind you...it was all from the CORNER of my eye). So I said, "sure". So he had her introduce herself and we really hit it off! I think she's incredibly funny and witty, intellectual, and yes, she was really cute...such BEAUTIFUL eyes!
Turns out we have a 3 person web connection to one another. This Lesbian World is sure starting to get small on me!!! Turns out that she also lives in Plano and is going to my community college at the same campus, around the same times. So we met up for lunch today. It was pleasant and I am glad I wasn't my normal..."I'm not interested in talking to anyone" self last night. She's also the type that likes to get to know someone before being interested in them romantically...so I FINALLY met someone that isn't making me feel like I'm being harassed. *good thing*
I am a total skeptic when it comes to meeting people at bars or online. Haha. This has been the story of my life lately, though! Most the people I've met have major emotional Louis Vuitton going on. I personally don't care if they have a little baggage, but I like the concept of stowing it in the under-carriage. The whole "best friends" thing with ex's...I don't really mind it, but I don't know that I can do that now. But the having casual sex with random people just to feel a connection thing...not for me. I am just not a big fan of carrying my ex's around with me once we break up or of having casual sex with people...at least I haven't been since I came out, anyway. My ex-boyfriends are a different story. Most of them are sweet-hearts and I felt awful for "lying" to them about who I really was. I did have a connection with them, just not the same they had with me. I have maintained most of them as good friends, and I don't think they are baggage because there's absolutely NO way that I would ever go back to any of them or date them or cheat on my girlfriend with one of them. But the casual sex thing was also an instrument I used not to have to admitt to myself that I was gay. And I'm not using that as an excuse...I was the type, but now NO WAY!
I think that keeping ex-girlfriends around pose a threat to current relationships. And women are naturally jealous...posing a threat in itself. Drama Drama Drama. Ex's are like HAZ MAT...
Otherwise known as Hazardous Material.